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Ron Swanson's Pyramid of Greatness

Started by furryoldlobster, February 11, 2014, 02:03:22 AM

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furryoldlobster

a quote from "parks and rec" for the community. 

Category 1
Honor

Category 2
America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures," use an atlas, or a ham radio.
Buffets: Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality.

Category 3
Weapons
Woodworking
Welfare Avoidance

Category 4
Teamwork: Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES.
Selfishness: Take what's yours.
Haircuts: 3 acceptable styles: high and tight, buzz cut, crew cut.
Greatness Itself: The best revenge.

Category 5
Discipline: The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
Attire: Shorts over 6" are capri pants, Shorts under 6" are European.
Self-Reliance: Trust yourself.
Suspicion: Do not trust anyone else.
Skim Milk*: Avoid it.

Category 6
Cow Protein
Pig Protein
Chicken Protein
Romantic Love
Deer Protein
Fish (Sport Only)

Category 7
Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
Torso: Should be thick and impenetrable.
Old Wooden Sailing Ships: They're beautiful.
B.O.: Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
Stillness: Don't waste energy moving unless necessary.
Skim Milk*: That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid It.
Cursing: There is only one bad word. Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors it's good enough for you.

Category 8
Friends: One to Three is sufficient.
Property Rights: They exist. Don't let them be taken away from you.
Masonry: Building walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
Cabins: A place to rest that is made of logs.
Perspiration: Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating.
You: You are your biggest ally.
Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
Physical Fitness

Category 9
Frankness: Cut the B.S.
Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.
Facial Hair: Full, thick, and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you  can't grow it.
Living in the Woods: Live off the land.
Rage: One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
Security: Secure the land.
Poise: Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly, that's ridiculous.
Handshakes: Firm, dry, solid. 3 seconds.
Body Grooming:  Only women shave beneath the neck.
Sustainability comes from small gestures. Don't let your comfort become waste.
~ cinema sign.

Tslat

Like what you see here?



We can't keep doing it without you!

sharingjan

and because of category 2 most american's don't know anything of the world, america doesnt have a long history like all the other country's in the world and you can learn a lot from them.
There are no stupid questions except for stupid questions

Zito

Why do people from other countries always assume that if it's put up about America, it's true? Just because someone puts something up from a Movie, does not mean all Americans are subject to it. Please refrain from insulting my country in the future Sharinjan, thanks.

On a positive note, I love it Furry! "That's right, it's on here twice. Avoid it." "Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous."


~Zito #corrupt4dmins

furryoldlobster

#4
thanks Z, for having a sense of humor.  I figured a few people would get sensitive about the america joke (I even almost put a disclaimer), but i didn't think I'd hurt so many feelings....with a quote....from a comedy. 


Z: gets it. 

T: its from a show (the aforementioned "parks and rec", so if you haven't seen it, it'll go over your head.

S:  umm....taking this seriously is like taking Harry Potter seriously.  If anything, I've complained about this country more than anything else (its a young nation going to puberty right now...very awkward and prone to swirlies).  Don't ever insult my intelligence, or make hasty, broad generalizations of Americans (or any national for that matter).  Its rude and shows ignorance; two traits, that i'm sure, couldn't be further from the truth (i.e. I bet you're smart and thoughtful, and had just a silly lapse in forum judgement.  it happens)
Sustainability comes from small gestures. Don't let your comfort become waste.
~ cinema sign.

Blaidrug

Ron Swanson... I think it's actually from Parks and Recreations, Furry XD

Either way! Love it
Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf...

furryoldlobster

Sustainability comes from small gestures. Don't let your comfort become waste.
~ cinema sign.

Blaidrug

Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf...

furryoldlobster

Brilliant.  I like, "any dog under 40 lbs is a cat.   And cats are pointless"
Sustainability comes from small gestures. Don't let your comfort become waste.
~ cinema sign.